why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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