just come out here and I will go home with you...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
