Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
