Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
