Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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