she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
