If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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