My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
handjob tips. give me some.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
