come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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