My room smells like vodka and shame
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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