At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
