every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
