His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
