You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
