I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
