I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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