You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
