For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
