so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
