youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she peed on how many people?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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