He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
