Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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