WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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