I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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