Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
