and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
