I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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