I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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