Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
