How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
