im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
