New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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