At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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