oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
