My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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