So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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