But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
