put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
