am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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