420 ftw
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
