maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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