***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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