You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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