hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am puke
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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