Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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