I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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