Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
