dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
