At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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