he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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