I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
