Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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