I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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