I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
